Birthday's are a big deal anyway, but birthday's also have extra special significance for our family. The Q-Bear and I suffered through many years of infertility before God brought us to our first born. To us, birthdays are about more than just Mom+Dad=baby. They are about Mom+Dad + birthfamily = baby. Truly, we feel humbled and blessed to even be a part of that equation.
Every year, the night before their birthdays we lay in the kid's beds and tell them their birth story. Our birthstories are a little bit different than the average bear, but nonetheless, they are ours and they are special. This year, we talked to K about his birthmom A. We looked at pictures and talked about the emotions we went through. Q-Bear told him how he used to sleep with him on his chest wrapped up in his t-shirt. (I used to walk in the room and both my boys would be sleeping together. KJ was a preemie, and at 4lbs 9oz was itty bitty and Daddy could pull the bottom of his t-shirt right over his lil' bottom. It was the sweetest thing.)
I'll admit, each time we tell the story, Q and I get a little choked up. Really, if you think about the selfless sacrifice that our children's birthfamily's made it is one of the most humbling things in the world. A young woman, scared and afraid, chose US, CHOSE us, to be the parents to her baby. I will never know the feeling of sacrifice my children's birthfamily made. But, but I will always know the thanksgiving on the receiving end of that miraculous blessing. Their gifts of love have become two of my life's greatest joys.
With that in mind, I will tell you that each year on K's birthday we hear from his birthmom. This year was no exception. She called and talked to KJ. He told her all of his 6-year-old boy-ventures in his sweet high-pitched little boy voice. While he was on the phone, I tried to imagine what A must be thinking. I wondered if she thought he was sweet? I wondered if she thought he was smart, funny, loving and kind? Because he is, he is all those things. I wondered if she thought he was amazing and special. As an adoptive mom, my heart ached for a moment. I felt sad that A didn't really know all of the wonderful, intimate, amazing, special things that made up this wonderful, creative, easy-going, all-boy boy!
Then it was my turn. I got on the phone and we talked about the year-in-review. I told her some funny K moments and then I told her about our before birthday bed-talks. She was quiet for only a moment before she said "Yeah, that was a crazy night wasn't it, well it was a crazy TIME?! I still tell everyone to this day doing that was the best thing I have ever done. When I hear him talk, I realize what a smart thing I did. You guys are such great parents. I tell people that all the time. That was the best thing I ever did for HIM. He is so much better with you. I wouldn't have done a good job at all. I think it was the best thing I ever did for him, for me and for you guys, huh?" Silence, silence, a moment to stop the tears and I replied "Yeah, it was one of the greatest blessings of our life! What you did was amazing and K-man is a healthy, wonderful little boy and we are humbled and blessed to be his parents." She said "Yeah - cool!"
Wow, wow, wow, talk about humbling. I am sorry, I realize I keep using that word, but honestly, there isn't a better one. We are just in awe of God's great mercy and grace. We are blessed beyond measure to know that He would allow US to be K-man's parents. That, for this season, He has entrusted this soul into our hands. WOW - it's humbling indeed.
It all started with an emergency phone call of "Can you be here in 20 minutes? Your son is being born by emergency C-section, he's breech!" Fast forward six golden years to a boy who has such a heart for prayer, a pocket for worms, a love of squirt guns, fishing rots, swimming, baseball and all things boy. Lord Jesus, I say thank you. Thank you for making our formula different, thank you for adding to our equation. The sum is so much sweeter. We are thankful and yes, humbled to have K-man for this season and we give You every ounce of the glory.
Six Golden Years in review:
2 comments:
Oh Becky you have me in tears. Yes, praise God for that little boy and for handpicking you to be his parents. You are such an amazing mother and Ken is such an amazing father. I love being able to watch you with your family.
Kaden told me I should plant a tree. When I asked how he told me I needed 4 seeds, 12 cups of water and 12 cups of sunshine. Then I could have my very own tree. He also told me I should spray my apple tree w/ my "boot spray" to keep the worms out of my apples. One fall I sprayed my boots white for a Halloween costume and apparently that same spray will help my apples. What a sweet boy! When I asked what his favorite thing about school was, he replied, "Four. Four is my favorite." I agreed that four was pretty cool. Later he explained that he was learning about the days of creation and day four was his favorite. It is wonderful to see the gift of God's creation through the excitement of this curious little boy.
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