Monday, December 14, 2009

False Gods

Okay, it's been a while I know. But, this is so good, it will be worth the wait.

Here's the scoop: K-manINSISTS upon pointing to everything with his middle finger.
*"Mom, Mom, look!" I look over and see him pointing at something. I have no idea what he is pointing at because I cannot get past the fact that he is pointing with his middle finger.

* When he reads he points with his middle finger.
* When he looks in magazines he points with his middle finger.
* Without fail, he keeps using his middle finger.
I think to myself, "Eh, this will go away, relax, no big whoop!"
* It doesn't go away.
*Every. Single. Day. He points with his middle finger.
So, I decide it's time to try and put a stop to it. My tactic is not to reveal the meaning behind the middle finger, rather to enhance and puff up the ol' pointer finger.

I say, "K-man, are you aware that God made a special finger just for pointing?! In fact, it's called a pointer finger." I raise my digit to show the appropriate one, then I take his little hand and show him where it is on his hand. "K-man, you should really use that finger to point. That finger is feeling a little left out because you keep using the other one." He looks at me, shrugs his shoulders and says, "Hokay!" I breathe a sigh of relief. Just to make sure he's got it down I reiterate that the pointer finger is really better for pointing than the middle finger. He quips, "Mom, it's also your light finger!!" Confused I query, "Huh?" He grins, "You know like the song, 'This Little Light of Mine!" Ahhhhhh, yes, now I understand. "YES! It is the same finger, good thinkin' buddy."

Next day...
*He points to the cupboard with his middle finger. I remind him.
*He reads pointing to the words with his middle finger. I remind him again.
* He points to the stars with his middle finger. I remind him yet again and even add, "Sweetie, use the finger God made for pointing. The middle finger really isn't a good finger." That's all I say.

Well, SOMEWHERE along the line the K-Dog became very confused in his theology. Whilst we were dining in Zaxby's he points to his cup and says, "Look guys, a chicken!" Exasperated I say "K-man, use your pointer finger!" And he says "OH, sorry, sorry, sorry, I know, I know, I know!" and he holds up both middle fingers, flails them in the air and shouts accenting each word with his middle finger, "I should NEVER bow down to false gods!"

At this point the waitress walks by and Ken and I are laughing SO hard. I mean, I am cackling so loud people are staring. Finally, I choke out, "WHAT?! What do you mean?!" Perplexed he says, "Well, I gotta use my God finger, not my false god finger." With a very solemn face he warns, "One should never bow down to false gods."

Oh. My. Word. I have no idea how it went so awry, but now when he points with his middle finger all we have to say is, "false gods" and he switches to his pointer finger. Problem solved!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

It's Like Pulling Teeth

You may find this hard to believe, but growing up, my Dad had this thing. Every time we had an ailment - sliver, skinned knee, infected something, possible broken bone, loose tooth etc. He was always there to check it out. Mom would say "Let's ask Dr. Dad." Which now I realize was either 1) her way of not wanting to deal with it or 2) her way of calming us down. Probably the latter, she was good like that.

Anyway, Dad would check out our wounds and declare them fine or not so fine depending on the situation. However, when it came to loose teeth, he would always want to try things. It was kind of mad scientist-esque. Like I distinctly remember John tying a string on his tooth and tying the other end to a door knob and slamming it shut. I also know there were several occasions where the pliers came into play. Whatever reason when Dad became part of the loose tooth equation, THAT NIGHT the tooth would come out! He was like a man on a mission.

Well, much to my husband's dismay, I have adopted this twisted, desperate need to pull out loose teeth. Right now as I type K-man's other front tooth is loose and it's all I can do not to go help him yank it out.

So, a couple of weeks ago K-man's top front tooth was loose..very loose. For DAYS I let him "wiggle it" and nothing came of it. So, I said "Buddy, I think we need the pliers." To which my boy said "WHAT?!?!?" After putting his fears to rest (convincing him it would be AWESOME) I proceeded to the garage all the while hearing my husband say "JUST LEAVE IT ALONE? What is your deal? Why does it HAVE to come out?"

We went to the bathroom in front of the mirror. He looked at me with big, suspicious, brown eyes and said "Do you think it will work?!" To which I replied "I don't know, but this is the way Grandpa pulled mommy's teeth out!" So, I told him I would clamp the pliers and he would PULL really hard. And guess what - IT TOTALLY worked!! K-man's eyes were as big as saucers. He thought it was WAY cool. But, for whatever reason he is loathe to pull the other one out that way? Hmmm...weird?

Anyway, hey Dad, aren't you proud?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Hair's the deal...

Aren't these pictures of Lou Bear so beautiful? They were taken before school one morning. For sake of story, we will call them the "after pictures!"

Lou Bear is STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL. (Yep, I am her mother, I can totally say that.) She is GORGEOUS to me (and her daddy.) One of our favorite things about our beautiful daughter is her hair. We LOVE her hair. We love it when it's wild, we love it when it's untamed, we love it when it's poofed, twisted, braided or wet. E-Bear has GREAT hair!

School mornings are like a well-oiled machine at our home. Everything is carefully laid out the night before. No, I am not kidding. I am the queen of planning for perfection!! Each night before bed I carefully plan each detail. Shirt-check; Pants-check; Uniform-Check; Socks-check; Louies-check; Shoes-check; Back-packs-check; Lunch Box- check. I think you get the point. It's like a morning ballet.

However, even the most rehearsed Ballet is still performed LIVE...
On this particular morning we were JUST about to get into the car. Am I forgetting something????

Yes, we were late for school that day in the name of WE HAVE GOT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THIS!

Luuuuucy, you got some 'splainin' to do.

Okay, so it's been a while. I know, I know. So, here is the deal. This week is Spring Break. I hope to have several entries!

Be watching....